Monday, June 14, 2010

More of my story

My hubby and I have tried in total for over four years to get pregnant. Man, that's a long time. We've tried all sorts of things including 7 IUIs and 3 months of clomid. I know compared to many this is not much but for us it was enough. We knew we wouldn't be able to handle the potential disappointment that could come with IVF, not to mention the potential cost. When I went to the meeting about the infertility treatments offered by our health providers, they basically told us it was only a 20% chance of success for someone my age (35 at the time). That just didn't seem like very good odds to us, considering it would cost somewhere in the ball park of $10,000.

I'm not saying adoption is cheap, it certainly isn't (I'll leave that for another post), but at least with adoption your odds are much better...80% better to be precise. We know we will become parents through adoption, where the path of infertility treatments couldn't give us that kind of assurance.

We spent a lot of time talking about which road we wanted to take and every time we talked about IVF we both had the same feeling, it was like we were rabbits and someone was dangling a carrot out in front of us, we wanted to just hop on up and grab the carrot, but instinctively knew the minute we did, the carrot would be yanked away. When we talked about adoption we felt a variety of things; fear, excitement, and possibility. I like to describe it this way, infertility treatments felt like we would be trying to shove a round peg into a square hole and adoption felt like we were opening ourselves up to something bigger, giving more of ourselves and expanding. Plus 100% is a much better number.


  1. I agree IVF was like a dangling carrot. For us, we just had to give it a try (more me, I guess) and financially we are able. Losing 2 pregnancies weeks after getting a positive result certainly pulled that carrot further out of reach. When considering whether or not to do another, I decided I couldn't handle the ambiguity again, and the 100% certainty of adoption was also a much better number for us!

  2. Crista, I'm so sorry to hear about your losses, I can only imagine how difficult that must have been, especially when the path to get there was so rocky in the first place! 100% feels good doesn't it? :)