Tuesday, December 21, 2010


We are still waiting for our birth parents to sign relinquishment papers. These are the papers that say they can no longer change their mind about the adoption, where their parental rights are terminated. It's been 6 1/2 weeks since our baby was born, so this is a little longer than it normally takes to sign the papers. Our adoption agency told us it's usually 2-4 weeks.

We aren't worried they will change their minds, I think it's more about logistics than anything else, but I can say it will be nice to have it done.  It's looking like it will be after the holidays at this point since our adoption agency is closing for christmas and the birth mother is going out of town.

I did learn if relinquishment papers aren't signed and there hasn't been any significant contact after 6 months we can file what is called abandonment proceedings. Hopefully we won't have to do this since it's more legal fees for us. But really as long as their not asking for the baby back, and we can continue to have a positive relationship with them I don't really care how it all goes down.

I hope everyone out there has a wonderful holiday! And that all your wishes come true this new year.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Adoption Details

I of course am overjoyed about the arrival of our son, but I feel like that's not really what this blog is about. I still want to post about adoption and the process of adopting and so although I will from time to time post about our little man here, I'm going to try to keep my posts focused more on the adoption process.

We are doing our adoption through an agency and because of that we have met several other people who are adopting. We have support group meetings every month and at the beginning of each meeting everyone goes around the room and shares their story, where they are in the process and any details they want to include. It runs the spectrum from people who have just signed up with the agency and aren't even in circulation yet to people who have recently brought a baby home. With our agency once the baby is placed with you, you go into what is called fost adopt status. In most open adoption situations the adoptive parents bring the baby home from the hospital. When this happens the birth parent(s) sign papers allowing you to remove the baby from the hospital, but this does not give you legal custody of the child, nor does it terminate the birth parents rights. For us, along with the papers to allow us to take the baby home from the hospital, there were also papers that placed the baby in the legal custody of the adoption agency. Then we went into "fost adopt" status meaning we are fostering this child with the intention of adopting him. Usually within 2-6 weeks of placement the birth parent(s) sign relinquishment papers. This is what terminates their rights and when as adopting parents you are in the clear of anyone changing their mind.

We are still waiting for relinquishment papers to be signed. It's a strange feeling. For us we are not worried about them changing their minds. We have been in touch and they have reassured us they are confident they made the right choice. But at our support group meetings we hear so many stories. There are as many potential variables as you can imagine with adoption. I feel like we got very lucky. The situation I would have considered ideal if you had asked me when we first signed up is pretty much the situation we ended up with, but I know for many the road is much less certain.

The counselors at our adoption agency told me that when you talk to the "right" birth mother you'll just know, it will feel right. For us that was absolutely true. Something clicked and at the risk of sounding hokey it felt meant to be. I think even with the people who share their stories of much more crazy situations there is always something about that match that felt right to them. Maybe it was just about the baby and had nothing to do with the birth family at all. I believe certain energies are drawn together and to me that's what explains the way you can meet someone and feel like you have always known them. I think often with adoption that's exactly how it is.

For years while we were trying to get pregnant I felt like there were times I could feel an energy around me, a baby waiting/trying to come through. My hubby and I called called it our spirit baby. It was like that little energy was already with us and when our son was born we both knew this was our spirit baby. He was the one I was waiting for all this time. 

Have questions about the adoption process? Leave a question in the comments section and I'll do my best to answer based on my experience. I know when your first starting out or even during the wait it can feel lonely and daunting. I'm happy to share what I've learned to help along to way :) Fire away!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Having a newborn is like Groundhog day

My hubby went back to work this week after three weeks home. It was a true blessing for us all to have so much time together, I know many people don't get that. I loved seeing him with the baby and how much of a natural dad he is...I knew he would be.

Now that it's just me and the little man day in and day out, I really feel like having a newborn is like that movie groundhog day. It's basically three - three and a half hour cycles of feeding, changing diapers, playing and sleeping. then do it all over again - non-stop. I'm loving it, but I can see how it could drive some people crazy. I have always enjoyed repetitive things and this comes with the glorious added benefit of a baby, what could be better? Of course in between the cycles there are also lots of dishes (especially bottles to be washed - eating every three hours means lots of bottles) and there is TONS of laundry. I was warned about the amount of laundry, but I truly had no idea.

Luckily my little buddy likes to help :)