The waiting itch

When we started this process I decided I was just going to put it in my head that it would be at least a year. Our agency told us the "average" wait time is 6-18 months, so I knew 1 year was a good marker. We haven't hit a year yet (we are right around 8 months), but I'm starting to get the wait itch (as I like to call it). It's this strange feeling of hope, excitement and worry. Worry that no one will ever pick us and a year from now - or even longer - we'll still be waiting. There's also some fear mixed in of getting getting "the call" and how that will unfold. It's a strange mix of emotions. I think some of this was prompted by our first contact which fell through. The flurry of that experience and the idea of actually becoming parents just brought it all to the forefront. Don't get me wrong. I love my life. I have an amazing husband, a job I love, great friends and family, two awesome dogs. I'm healthy and those I love are healthy. It's a great life. I'm just ready to be a mom. I can feel myself trying to fight off the impatience that's creeping in, but I think I just have to ride the waves as they come. I feel like a little kid in the back of the car..."are we there yet?" (cue foot tapping)