Jumping into the great wide open

Right after our match became official I spent several days in what I would call good news shock. I was trying to comprehend the amazing good news that I was experiencing along with making peace with the inherant fears related to that very experience. If I'm honest I'm still processing it. Just last night it kind of hit me, wow, my life is about to seriously change. I've been conceptualizing the idea of becoming a parent for so long. Every job I've had over the past several years I start thinking, I wonder if this is where I will work when we have a baby? Or when we go camping I think, I wonder how it will be to bring our baby camping? Or how will it be to see my hubby as a daddy or my dad as a grandpa? It's been something I've thought about for years in all kinds of different situations. It's kind of strange to start thinking about what it is actually going to be like. I know my life is about the take a dramatic turn. There is about to be a little person in my life unlike any other person who has come before, I know I am about to be changed in ways I can't even imagine and I can't wait! Adoption is such a special and unique experience because as an adoptive parent it is sort of like the first trimester and the last two months of pregancy all rolled into one.

I have felt that fierce urge to protect the information of our experience, similar to how I imagine the first trimester of pregnancy would be where you are super excited but also know a miscarriage is possible. I have also felt the extreme excitement of being just afew months from our due date and in the thick of baby preparation. Throw into the mix the experience of getting to know the birth mother and it's a wild ride to say the least.

After lots of emotional stops and starts while making my way out of the baby shock haze, I decided to just jump in. Do I understand this might not work out? Yes, but I am chosing to trust the process, the birthmom and the little spirit baby who has found us. We will be devastated whether we allow ourselves the excitement or not so why not enjoy this time? We are having a baby people! WooHoo! Let's party!!!

Our match meeting is coming up in the next couple weeks, which is where we will meet with our adoption counselor and the birth parents to talk through all the details of our ongoing contact as well as what will happen at the hospital. I was feeling a little nervous about it, but am feeling more confident. I know it will be intense, and I also know we have the space in our hearts to hold whatever needs holding throughout the conversation. During my life and all the crazy ups and downs I feel like things often come full circle and what I know for sure and am reminded of again and again is that Love is the most important thing.

Love for ourselves, love for each other and the general spirit of love, there can't be too much of it. And when you focus on love, good things happen and you can make it through anything.

Eenie, Meenie, Mynie...MATCH!

We got the call and the birth mother wants to match with us! We are beyond excited. It's pretty surreal actually. I looked at our profile on our adoption agency's website yesterday and you can no longer click through to our profile...it just says MATCHED! It's pretty exciting.

The next step is what they call a match meeting, where we will talk about all the details of the adoption agreement, including ongoing contact as well as the specifics of what will happen at the hospital when the baby is born. I'm told it will take 2 - 4 hours, whew! I have a feeling it's going to be a doozy.

Luckily we have already been quite open with our birthmother and she with us, so I don't anticipate much coming up that is unexpected. Although I'm sure it will be an emotional meeting.

The date for the match meeting is still TBD but we are hoping it will happen in the next couple weeks. For now we are just soaking it all in and getting excited about the new little person who is making their way into our lives.

The stories

Something I've learned so far is the minute you tell someone you're adopting, they have a story to share. And boy have I heard some crazy ones!

A neighbor recently told me about a friend of hers who got a knock on their door. It was a woman from down the road who they had seen but never really interacted with who proceeded to tell them she was pregnant, was unable to parent and wanted them to adopt her baby! Can you believe that?! Come to find out yesterday that same couple got pregant unexpectadly right before the baby was due and decided not to go ahead with the adoption. My neighbor put in a plug for us, but I guess it was too late, the birth mother had already chosen another family.

I guess you never really know how you'll react to any given situation, but I can say with pretty good certanty that if we did (by some miracle) get pregnant, we would still move forward with adoption.

This is just one of many stories that have been shared with us. Some are inspiring and some a little annoying honestly. How many times have you been told..."now that you're adopting you'll get pregnant"? If you did get pregnant would you still adopt?

Newborn Care

We took a newborn care class last night. It was great. The woman who ran the class was so enthusiastic about babies and helping new parents, she made me giggle a couple times with the amount of enthusiasm she had for the subject.

We learned how to bathe a baby, how to change a diaper, how to spot signs of possible illness, how to take their temperature and what's normal in newborns. It was really interesting and both my husband and I left feeling more prepared for when our little one arrives.

They had little dolls we were able to practice on. We diapered them and then swaddled them in a blanket. It was fun watching my hubby put the little diaper on and watching him laugh when the teacher talked about diaper blow outs and how to avoid them. I had no idea how to care for the umbilical cord - you actually don't do much of anything, just treat it kind of like a scab and don't get it wet. She went through step by step how to give the baby a bath - both sponge bath (before the cord falls off) and regular "immersion" bath (once the cord falls off). She also gave us information on when to call or bring the baby in and when something might seem strange but is normal.

It was a fun night envisioning ourselves as parents, we're both so excited. We can't wait!

Interesting Article about Birthmoms

I came across this article yesterday and really wanted to share it with you. One of the things that has stood out to me so far in our pocess to adopt is just what this article addresses. People seem to look down on birthmothers for their choice to place their baby for adoption. It's always bothered me and always will I'm sure, probably even more once I have a birthmother in my life who I love and have a relationship with.

So I wanted to share this article and add my part by saying I agree, birthmothers deserve our respect. They are making a very altruistic decision in choosing adoption and they should be honored for their strength to do what's right for their child.

Contact follow up...

We got an email last night from the birth grandmother who had contacted us a few weeks back and as suspected the birth mother has decided to parent. We are both a little sad, but also have faith that our baby will come to us through this process, we just have to be patient.

In other news, our good friends who we met through the adoption agency just got matched! We are super excited for them, since they have already been through a "reclaim" which means they had a baby for 3 days and the birth mother changed her mind. Ugh! So this is especially exciting to see them realizing their dreams of becoming parents. The wife of the couple said she's keeping the mindset of it ain't over 'til it's over, but I have a good feeling they'll be coming home with a baby in the next few weeks! YAY!

It's just a matter of time for all of us.

The web we weave

I was reading one of my favorite blogs today
design mom where she has these amazing birth story posts that she was featuring on her blog throughout her pregnancy. birth stories

And I came across this quote:
“The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse.” - helen keller

I felt like it tied in so beautifully with my last post, I wanted to share.

I also really enjoyed this post by a birth mom...lovely

Which reminded me of this one a beautiful story of compassion by a birth mother from another blog

I love the internet and how so often just the right story or quote comes along at the perfect moment. What a web we weave indeed.